My kids are getting older now. I coached my son’s baseball and basketball teams this offseason. I really enjoyed being a dad.
— Aaron Rowand, on what’s next for him, after being released by the Miami Marlins. He delivered these remarks crouching in a squat behind the podium, wobbling back and forth and gyrating. When a reporter suggested that he could get more power behind his words if he stood in a more conventional way, Rowand stormed out of the press conference. On his way out, he crashed into two door frames, hit his head on a ceiling fan, and managed to cause $12 million worth of damage.