SportsCentr
By SF comedian Sean Keane.
I also blog at:
Sean Keane Comedy
NBA Off-Season
MLB Off-Season
NFL Off-Season
The World's Game
And my web series is "Elevator To Space"
Red Sox starter John Lackey pauses to wipe his brow after he’s overcome with meat sweats on the first day of spring training. Lackey admits that he’s not yet up to speed after missing 2012 with Tommy John surgery, but insists that by Opening Day, he’ll be back to eating two buckets of fried chicken per game.
(AP Photo/Chris O’Meara)
The Red Sox are about to trade for a manager - John Farrell of the Blue Jays. The Sox have reportedly been after Farrell for a year, but couldn’t put together a deal that would compensate the Jays for losing their skipper to a division rival. Farrell is their old pitching coach, which worked out so well for the Sox when they tried it with Joe Kerrigan in 2001. Kerrigan went 17-26 to close out the season, signed a multi-year contract, and then got fired in spring training. Which probably wasn’t so bad for Kerrigan and his wallet.
A year after the Kerrigan experiment, the Rays traded outfielder Randy Winn to the Mariners for the right to hire Lou Piniella. The Rays won 70 games for the first time, but that was about all they got. Meanwhile the Mariners enjoyed Winn’s prime and flipped him to the Giants, though they missed the playoffs in Bob Melvin’s first year, despite winning 93 games. Oh, those innocent days of but a single wild card team!
The Mariners cratered in 2004, losing 99 games, and they hired Mike Hargrove the next year. Who lost 93 games. What can we learn from this situation? Well, it probably isn’t a good idea to trade a good player for a manager, but it also doesn’t help to dump your manager, especially if he’s so good another team wants him. For teams on either side of an exchange like this, a player-manager swap does not lead to a lot of Winning.
A guy heckles Jacoby Ellsbury by calling him “Salisbury Steak” for a really long time. This is why I love the Oakland Coliseum.
Fascinating Facts from the Red Sox-Orioles 17 Inn. Game
The Red Sox lost to the Orioles in 17 innings today. On Friday they lost in 13, and on Saturday, just nine. So on top of the fact that the O’s swept the Sox, and Baltimore now has a 1/2 game lead in the AL East, these other odd moments occurred:
* Neither starting pitcher went five full innings. Clay Buchholz (Boston) went 3 2/3 giving up 5 runs. Tommy Hunter of the Orioles went 4 1/3 giving up 5 as well.
* Every member of the Red Sox had at least one strikeout. (Baltimore pitchers struck out 18. Boston struck out 15 O’s.)
* Adrian Gonzalez went 0 for 8 with two strikeouts leaving eight men on base.
* Not to be outdone, Baltimore DH Chris Davis went 0 for 8, with five strikeouts leaving 5 men on base. Oh, and he also grounded into a double play. So 8 at-bats, 9 outs.
* No runs were scored by either team from the 9th through the 16th.
* The Orioles grounded into five double plays in extra innings.
* Chris “Platinum Sombrero” Davis would then pitch the bottom of the 16th. He struck out one and then nearly lost the game but Marlon Byrd was thrown out at the plate by J.J. Hardy. Whew.
* Darnell McDonald, who pinch ran for Big Papi in the 8th and scored the tying run, would be sent in to pitch the 17th inning. McDonald (who is listed in the box score with the never seen position listing of “PH-DH-P”) walked two and then gave up a 3-run homer to Adam Jones.
* In the bottom of the 17th, Davis came back to the mound and put two Sox on. After striking out Adrian Gonzalez, Davis then induced a double play. Who hit into the DP? Darnell McDonald, of course.
So your final results:
WP - Chris Davis, first win in his major league career (Who are we kidding? First pitching appearance in his career.)
LP - Darnell McDonald, first appearance, first loss
Time of Game: 6:07, not a typo
So good. Chris Davis should be getting a congratulatory phone call from Felipe Lopez any minute now.
The epic Red Sox collapse has led to a lot of finger-pointing, but none so prominent as the chubby, grease-covered fingers pointed at the team’s starting rotation. And the Boston media has not hesitated to kick the players while they’re down (or curled up on the floor in a food coma), with an unfair-but-hilarious photo gallery purportedly showing how out-of-shape all the players got.
Really, they’re just comparing the players’ professionally-lit studio head shots from February with the most unflattering September photos they could find. I mean, Jon Lester doesn’t even have his eyes open! Though Josh Beckett does look pretty fat. And remember, ladies, John Lackey is single now.
With their team in peril and their manager losing his authority, three Red Sox pitchers last month were uniquely positioned to prevent the greatest September collapse in major league history. All the Sox needed was Josh Beckett, Jon Lester, and John Lackey to apply the skills and commitment that previously made them World Series champions.
Instead, Boston’s three elite starters went soft, their pitching as anemic as their work ethic. The indifference of Beckett, Lester, and Lackey in a time of crisis can be seen in what team sources say became their habit of drinking beer, eating fast-food fried chicken, and playing video games in the clubhouse during games while their teammates tried to salvage a once-promising season.
This article is huge. Bound to make some big waves and stir up a bit more than a hornets nest. Highly essential reading.
(via dangerghost)
I only wish there’d been more discussion of John Lackey divorcing his wife while she’s fighting cancer.
(via dangerghost)
From behind me, I heard a raspy, older, female voice ask me, ‘You guys gonna win today?’
I turned around. The voice belonged to Amy Madigan, the actress who played Kevin Costner’s wife in Field of Dreams.
‘Yes,’ I told her. ‘We are going to win today. But I don’t know about tomorrow.’
‘Who’s pitching?’ she asked.
‘Lester today. Tomorrow, I don’t know. Might be Kevin Costner.’
She thought this was funny.
Move over, SI. There’s a new cover jinx in town.
Have a nice flight home, loozahs.