February 2011
6 tags
January 2011
4 tags
2 tags
3 tags
1 tag
2 tags
“They obviously evaluated him in the locker room at halftime and thought he was...”
– Ned Macey, on Jay Cutler. Notable Cutler critic Phillip Rivers also left a playoff game with a knee injury, though it was in the divisional round.
3 tags
“Tonight, we put a total 40-minute game together and got the win.”
– Amar’e Stoudemire of the New York Knicks, who have finally figured out how to beat the Miami Heat. Now it’s time for them to figure out how many minutes are in an NBA game.
1 tag
2 tags
3 tags
2 tags
“I remember in college…being very horny.”
– Bill Simmons, keeping it classy on the BS Report.
2 tags
“I always wanted to be a bartender … The bottom line is you’re...”
– Brian Cashman’s midlife crisis continues in New York.
2 tags
1 tag
2 tags
3 tags
“A hero ain’t nothing but a sandwich.”
– Shaquille O’Neal
4 tags
2 tags
Soup's On!
oldtimefamilybaseball:
Reports are surfacing that the Giants are close to signing Jeff Suppan to a minor league deal. Suppan was the punchline to plenty of jokes from 2008 through the first half of 2010, but once Suppan arrived in St. Louis, Dave Duncan waved his magic wand and all was right again. Somehow Suppan found a way to go 3-6 with a 3.84 ERA despite giving up more than a hit per inning,...
4 tags
4 tags
Mr. Rodgers' neighborhood - After stellar workout,... →
From 2005. A look at the workout that made Aaron Rodgers at one time the prohibitive favorite to go #1 in the NFL Draft. Unfortunately for 49er fans, Mike Nolan and Scott McCloughan made a different kind of no-brain decision.
“By the end of the 38-minute pro-day workout in Berkeley’s picturesque Strawberry Canyon, there were enough ooohs, aaahs, whistles and knowing nods to cement...
5 tags
5 tags
Amateur player attempts 124 three-pointers in a... →
nbaoffseason:
A European player attempted 124 three-point shots in a game, making only 24 of them. While he made less than one in five, that’s a True Shooting Percentage of nearly 30%! The real upset is not that this happened, but that it happened in Lithuania, and not the Oracle Arena in Oakland, or a Don Nelson fever dream.
Missing one hundred three-pointers in one game! By the fourth...
1 tag
“You know, people try to make it about black and white. He talked about equality...”
– Charles Barkley, on MLK Day. I think Chuck is the most high-profile heterosexual athlete to ever make a statement like this.
3 tags
Actual Chant at Warriors-Nets
“Sasha! MVP! Most Vujacic Player!”
Observations From Warriors-Nets, Part Two
For MLK Day, the Warriors Ran a video on the scoreboard where a player talked about what Martin Luther King, Junior meant to him. The player? Louis Amundson.
So far, the Nets have more shot-clock violations than dunks, even though Brook Lopez has been guarded by Andris Biedrins, Dan Gadzuric, and Vladimir Radmanovic. Why is Lopez considered a future star again?
Devin Harris sat for a long...
Observations From Warriors-Nets, Part One
Dan Gadzuric wears his warmup pants impossibly high. If Steve Urkel designed athletic apparel for people who love mom jeans, Gadz could model for him.
Gadzuric’s fan section is called “Danny G’s Power House,” which is also the name of his jazz fusion ensemble. There’s also Monta’s Mob, David’s Lee-Ders, and Brandan’s Brigade. Brandan’s...
3 tags
2 tags
2 tags
4 tags
3 tags
4 tags
Delino DeShields Jr. Charged With DUI →
oldtimefamilybaseball:
When you’ve got $2.15 million in the bank, just spring for a cab. In fact, even when you don’t have millions of dollars put away, you should call a cab.
This has been a Public Service Announcement from Old Time Family Baseball.
Fred Claire and Dave Dombkowski would agree: Pedro Martinez, Jr. would never do that.
4 tags
Other great (triumphant) Jets Bar jerseys
Chad Pennington (x3)
Brad Smith (inactive)
Vinny Testaverde
Mark Gastineau (x2)
Keyshawn Johnson (x 3, all losers)
Ken O’Brien (enthusiasts only )
Curtis Martin (really?)
You can hit Tom Brady 5 times or less, and he's...
More than that, and he’s texting Gisele on the sidelines, reassuring her that Shaun Ellis won’t fuck up his senatorial face.
Take your goddamn hood off, Belichick
Once Tom Brady kept wearing a weird cold-weather ninja mask, I felt bad for the Pats. But when the coach kept the cold-weather hood on, in the second half, it was clear the Pats were doomed.
4 tags
Jets Bar Observations
There are two David Harris jerseys. Are there legitimate D-Harris fans, or did they choose from an assortment of Scott/Ellis/Taylor/Cromartie jerseys and wait to see who made a play?
I don’t care about the Jets. But my sister’s boyfriend loves them. As such, I have yelled J -E-T-S Jets about eleven times so far (it’s five minutes into the third quarter).
A baby just showed up...
4 tags
Most Popular Jerseys at the Jets Bar
Darrelle Revis
Joe Namath
LaDainian Tomlinson
Mark Sanchez
Weirdest jersey: Ty Law
Most hilarious jersey: Boomer Esiason
Jersey I wish I was wearing: D’Brickashaw Ferguson
What I’m actually wearing: A green-and-white shirt that says “Missouri Loves Company.” It depicts Missouri, Kansas, and a pizza-holding Illinois, just hanging out. So if anything, it supports...
7 tags
5 tags
4 tags
3 tags
4 tags
2 tags
Ozzie Canseco busted for DUI →
As if this story weren’t embarrassing enough for Osvaldo Canseco, they had to include this tidbit at the end:
“Jose Canseco hit 462 home runs in his major league career, though Ozzie never hit one in the big leagues.”
Those officers better hoped they’re not named in Ozzie’s upcoming tell-all book, “Apparently Not Juiced Enough.”