December 2009
“Darrelle Revis couldn’t cover me in a brown paper bag on a corner of a...”
– Chad Ochocino, hoping the Bengals don’t rest their starters versus the J-E-T-S Jets. Ochocinco also hopes to inspire an O-C-H-O cheer of his own.
“I was coming in the house and then she woke me up and said, ‘Ron, are you...”
– Ron Artest, shedding very little light on his injury. However, “passed out from the hit” might be Ron-Ron subtly admitting it was a blunt-related accident.
The Suh-per Bowl →
The 49ers were eliminated from the playoffs after losing to the eagles, but their remaining two games have had HUGE draft implications. First, knocking off Detroit kept the Lions 2-13, and kept hope alive that they could have the worst record in the league, draft #1, and presumably take Ndamukong Suh. Of course, the current worst NFL team is the St. Louis Rams, who the 49ers face this week. The...
DeRosa signs with the Giants →
jheath:
Reportedtly for a 2 year, 12 million dollar deal. This is not all too surprising. David Freese, you better be sober enough to play the hot corner.
Look, any time you have a chance to sign a 35-year-old, career .275 hitter, coming off of wrist surgery, for two years and 12 million, you’ve got to pull the trigger.
Another Gallagher Basketball Idea →
From a 2008 interview:
“I would have them sing the national anthem in Spanish before basketball and baseball games so the Spanish people would not be bored, and they would know the story of our flag.” [Ed: Here, Gallagher sings the first part of ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ in Spanish]
“I translated it and I wanted Gloria Estefan and her husband to take that project...
“It’s just more of the same mediocre, lackadaisical, lack of quality, acceptance...”
– Gallagher, talking about the NBA and showing his confusion as to what “brick” means. (via nbaoffseason)
Cutler-to-Aromashadou
Best QB-WR combination in Chicago since Miller-to-Booker? Tomczak-to-Gentry? McMahon-to-Gault?
Great MNF Game, but...
What the hell is Mike Tirico wearing? Plain black baseball cap, coupled with a ridiculous scarf… there are homeless men in Chicago dressed better than Tirico tonight.
Monday Night Football!
I don’t care about either team, but I am really looking forward to this week’s Monday Night Football game. First, it features the Bears in prime time for the fifth time this year. They’re 0-4, and Jay Cutler has thrown 12 interceptions in the four games. He’s going to scowl, he’s going to pout, he’s going to fling the ball blindly across his body, and...
One More Warriors Announcing Note
Bob Fitzgerald used the word “fanny” during the telecast.
Warriors Announcer Game
My dad and I played a game watching Suns-Warriors tonight. When would Bob Fitzgerald first make an excuse for the team, and would that excuse be based on the Warriors’ youth, or injury?
Dad said third quarter; I said second. We were both way too conservative. With 7:08 remaining in the 1st quarter, Phoenix snagged a rebound, and Fitzgerald said, “You know, we’re going to see...
“That would have brought the house down!”
– Warriors announcer Bob Fitzgerald, three times tonight, after missed dunks and three-pointers. No phrase exemplifies the Warriors fan experience more than, “That would have brought the house down.”
Artest Suffers Injury At Home at Lakers.com... →
nbaoffseason:
Ron Ron tripped over a box and fell down a flight of stairs.
Talk about pouring salt into a wound. First, there was the meltdown at Staples and on top of that, he gets stitches in the back of his head and elbow!
Consider him to be day to day.
This sounds like an excuse that abused wives give. How long until we find out that Artest fell while being chased by a...
“You know, #22 [28-year-old Vikings cornerback Benny Sapp] had something to say...”
– Steve Smith, after torching the Vikings
Christmas Day NBA Uniforms
The holiday patches all the players are wearing today are supposed to depict a snowflake, but on TV, it looks like a Star of David. So it looks less like “whimsical holiday flair” and more like “uncomfortable throwback to the Warsaw Ghetto.”
“5. Baron Davis, Clippers; Elton Brand, 76ers; Corey Maggette, Warriors; July...”
– Mark Montieth, “The Worst Free Agent Signings of the Decade”
True/False
unnamedplayer:
sportscentr:
Kevin Riley is the Jay Cutler of the Pac-10.
Jeff Tedford is the Brian Sabean of the Pac-10.
On second thought, Kevin Riley is actually the Rex Grossman of the Pac-10. Jeff Tedford is the Marty Schottenheimer of the Pac-10.
True/False
Kevin Riley is the Jay Cutler of the Pac-10.
“Wonder why Tiger has had such a strong libido? Could it be the same reason he...”
– BALCO founder Victor Conte
The High Cust of Outfield Defense
sfgiantsbay:
Jack Cust-DH-Athletics Dec. 18 – 5:14 pm et According to Jon Paul Morosi of FOXSports.com, the Royals, Giants and Tigers are among the teams interested in free agent Jack Cust. All three teams are looking for an inexpensive hitter and Cust should fit the bill. He batted .240/.356/.417 with 25 homers and 70 RBI in 2009, but is a poor defender and struck out 185 times in 513...
Watchnationalfootballleague:
In case you missed Carl’s (from Aqua Teen Hunger Force) “Stone Cold Lock of the Century” from earlier this week. He takes the Indianapolis Colts over the Jacksonville Jaguars, but he mistakenly throws in the New Orleans Saints. Hindsight kills people.
“Drew Brees, sure, you’re 13-0. Big deal. You ain’t accomplished nothing until you’ve been...
Who Dat?
Dallas. That’s who.
“Gruden is the Will Rogers of broadcasters - he loves everybody. Trust me,...”
– Mike Lombardi
“He was doing everything right. My grandma always says you never question the man...”
– An poignant goodbye to the late Chris Henry, from the ever-eloquent Chad Ochocino.
“Jamey Carroll is accepting a two-year deal with the Dodgers, pending a physical.”
– Twitter / Buster Olney: Jamey Carroll is accepting … (via diamondleung)
For those of you who think the Dodgers front office will be paralyzed by the McCourt divorce proceedings, whatchoo know ‘bout JAMEY CARROLL?!? The utility infielder train don’t stop for divorce.
Card's Freese blew a 0.232 BAC when arrested →
jheath:
…which happens to be just better than Rick Ankiel’s 2009 batting average of 0.231.
Freese is going to have to drink harder if he wants become an All-Star like Miguel “0.26” Cabrera.
Sean and Vamsi Discuss Vamsi's Possible Murderous...
Vamsi: So like 20 minutes ago I was bitching to Omar about Oral Roberts
then http: //www.cnn.com/2009/US/12/15/oral.roberts/index.html ("Evangelist Oral Roberts dead at 91 ")
Sean: Whoa dude
Sean: Could you and Omar please start complaining about Chris Cohan?
Nos quam celerrime nostras regulas decrescamus →
unnamedplayer:
TMQ summarizes my thoughts on Brian Kelly quite well…
Weasel Coach Watch: Brian Kelly joins the cavalcade of weasel coaches, walking out on Cincinnati the month before the school’s biggest bowl game. TMQ’s immutable Law of Weasels holds: When you hire a coach who’s only in it for himself, you get a coach who’s only in it for himself. Kelly walked out on his commitments just...
Phillies Sign Ross Gload →
Ross Gload is the new left-handed pinch-hitter in Philadelphia, meaning Matt Stairs is probably out of a job. First the Phillies take Roy Halladay away from Toronto, then they keep Canadian prospects Tyson Gillies and Phillippe Aumont for themselves in the deal, and finally, they take New Brunswick’s all-time home run leader and kick him to the curb. Ruben Amaro, Jr., why do you hate...
Leave it to us Phillies fans to bitch about...
jennyd:
(via clarewithnoi)
In some ways, this is worse than pelting Santa Claus with snowballs; Santa’s only good for one workhorse performance per year, whereas Roy Halladay will give you 9-10 complete games a season.
One important consideration for the Phillies: Halladay is willing to pitch on three days rest.
“You guys are like an overpaid pitcher on an underperforming baseball team. And...”
– President Obama to banking executives (via ciarrai84) Thumbs up. (via jaysonvooyrhees)
President Obama, there’s no reason to pick on Barry Zito. Enough Barry-on-Barry crime already!
“Confirmed, Giants will be wearing an alternate cap on field this year. Old...”
– Twitter / AZGIANTS.com: Confirmed, Giants will be … (via diamondleung)
While I don’t like the ever-increasing numbers of alternate jerseys, that orange-billed cap is a sweet look. Granted, the 70s weren’t really a period of glory for the Giants - it’s like when the Tampa Bay...